Just found hidden in a vault in a secret location in London:

Radcliffe Accused of Not Really Kissing

By Anita Life

Exclusively for the Distortionist

With filming now complete, our Incredibly Reliable Inside Sources have discovered that actor Daniel Radcliffe did not really kiss December Boys co-star Teresa Palmer for the forthcoming film. Our amazingly accurate and totally true publication reported several weeks ago on Radcliffe's nerves being shot over having to perform his first on-screen kiss with Palmer. It has now been discovered that the kiss will be computer generated.

Will Steggle, who drums for Radcliffe's punk rock band, Dan and the French Toast Sticks, was seen sipping a skinny boy mocha latte no-fo at a Starbuck's coffee shop in Camden when he was overheard discussing the kiss on his cell phone. Steggle is quoted as saying, "It's just like when singers lip sync, ya know? And that's considered to be socially acceptable nowadays."

Radcliffe denies the rumors that he and Palmer did not really kiss. In a press conference held this morning he stated, "Look, I admit I had some internal conflicts, but I got over them. I really kissed her, and there are no computer generated graphics in this film."

However, a mouse equipped with a bugging device was slipped into the production room where editing is taking place on the movie, and it has been confirmed by the mouse that the kiss is not legit. Additionally, people who have prescreened cuts have made statements in the privacy of their own homes that Radcliffe's mouth appears "abnormal" during the kissing scene.

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House Elf, Unregistered

 Posted 2008-08-19 23:08:48

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