Oh, my poor neglected site. I haven't touched it in quite a while - blame life, blame the fact that there just doesn't seem much out there. Oh, but wait. A new movie is coming soon and there are goodies I need to post. There's a spoof in the making, of which I've been receiving emails for casting calls and such and have been a lame butt and haven't posted them. Hey, s*&t happens, you know? I could use a good cheering charm.

At any rate, through a message board I visit a poster posted a link to this site that featured a quick take of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It's snarky, funny and sarcastic. But I would advise anyone who hasn't read the book (do they exist?) to NOT read this as spoilers are a-plenty.

Here's a snippet but for the rest click here.

This is only up to page 7 so if you read it by accident and you haven't read the book, you're not missing much.

"Page beforethereispagenumbers: "This book is dedicated seven ways" - to her husband, her three kids, her sister, her late mother, and to YOU THE READER BECAUSE YOU MADE THIS ALL POSSIBLE AND YOU ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS J.K. ROWLING'S KIDS TO HER!

Page stillnonumbersbutafterthetableofcontents: A quote from Aeschylus and another quote from More Fruit of Solitude by William Penn. I am reminded of how Joe Queenan once suggested that if mediocre books were going to preface with quotes from great literature, how great literature could return the favour by prefacing themselves with quotes from Tom Clancy explaining the technical specifications of a military helicopter.

Page 1: "Chapter One: The Dark Lord Ascending." OooOOOOooooOOOOOoo. Snape and Random Loser Death Eater arrive at Death Eater Central and tell Voldemort conflicting stories about where they think Harry Potter is going to hide next. MY GOD SNAPE'S STORY IS DIFFERENT I WONDER IF HE IS SECRETLY A GOOD GUY.

Page 6: Voldemort and the Death Eaters exposit that they are using mind control to gradually take over the Ministry of Magic. This of course begs the question why they didn't start doing this, say, in book five, considering they also exposit that they think it will take them about a week to do it. "Hey, we can have control of the entire magical government in about a week, Mister Voldemort. Wanna do it?" "Mmmmmm... no, let's wait on that. I need to savor the possibility of it. Much like a fine wine." (Or whatever wizards drink. I mean, for some reason the concept of beer tasting like butter is something wizards like. What the hell is up with that, I ask you.)

Page 7: Voldy: "That Potter lives is due more to my errors than his triumphs." I refer you to David R. Henry's old maxim about fiction: when the characters themselves echo common complaints about the plot, there are Issues.

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